Women, why do we do this to each other?

Posted on September 13, 2014

This is what makes us girls,

we don’t stick together ’cause we put love first

It’s no secret that women judge each other relentlessly, so I don’t know why this story in the book, Knowing Your Value, was such a shock. But it still made my jaw drop and my insides knot up. Just thinking about the injustice made my fists clench. How could someone, much less a WOMAN even possibly think that this was ok to say to another woman? Why is she trying to hold her down when she is absolutely no threat to her?

Mika, the author, is a co-host on Morning Joe on MSNBC, and was making 14 times less than her co-host, Joe Scarborough. She complained many times because she could barely make ends meet and had to pay for her own wardrobe, hair and makeup on top of it. She said the only time she was brought to tears in any discussion about her salary was with a middle manager who happened to be a woman. Mika said that this woman told her she needed to stop trying to get a raise because it was going to make people stop liking her, despite knowing that she made 14 times less than her male co-host. 

This is the complete opposite of what most men do for each other in the famous ‘ole boys club. Men tend to stick their necks out for each other and actually put their own reputation on the line to recommend another for a job or business deal. When is the last time you referred another woman or had a woman write a recommendation for you? If it was within the last 12 months then give yourself a pat on the back and keep doing it, because according to Arianna Huffington, that’s the best way to close the gender pay gap- by sticking together.

Ladies, we should be ashamed of ourselves. In the highest levels of business WE are our own worst enemies.

In order to fix this problem, we first have to admit to it.

- Mika in Knowing Your Value: Women, Money and Getting What You’re Worth

So I encourage every woman to recognize the times when she is being critical of anyone, but especially another woman. And when you do feel those pings of jealousy or visciousness breaking the surface, to take a few deep breaths and ask yourself why you’re feeling this way and how you can use it, not only for your advantage, but how can you HELP this other woman instead of hurt her?

 

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